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Make a Commitment
To yourself – Decide that you want to wait for marriage.
To your parents – Many parents and teens have a special day set aside to formally make that commitment, and a special piece of jewelry is often given to the teen to commemorate that day as a reminder of that promise. Others have signed a card as a sign of their commitment to chastity.
To a friend with like values – This person can help keep you accountable to that promise as you do the same for him/her.
To your date – Agree that the relationship will be kept free of sex.
To God – Make this decision a spiritual commitment.
Avoid
Being completely alone with your boyfriend or girlfriend – Instead, date in groups or attend functions with other people.
Intimate environments – Do not visit his or her house when no one else is home, don’t park in a car in a secluded area or walk in the woods, etc.
Stimulation – Many factors may influence you to temporarily “forget” your commitment to abstain from sex: music with sexually explicit lyrics; movies, television, and books which portray graphic sexual situations or promote non-marital sex; sexy or revealing clothing; physical stimulation, such as prolonged kissing or caressing.
Plan Ahead
Know where you are going, with whom, what you will do when you get there, and what time you will be home. Lack of plans leads to boredom; boredom can lead to sex. Have an agreement with your parents that you will call them if you find yourself in a situation that does not agree with your values so they can come pick you up.
Look for a way out, an escape, an excuse if you find yourself in a pressure squeeze. Josh McDowell, well known author and speaker, suggests if someone pressures you to have sex, tell them to call your father [or mother] and if it’s all right with him [or her], it’s all right with you!
Date Someone with the Same Values
If the person you date does not have respect for your values and your feelings as a person, don’t get involved.
Date people you know, and be aware of each other’s guidelines for dating. Be sure you both have a clear agreement of what sexual purity means and that “NO” means “NO.”
Break Off the Relationship
If consistent pressure is being applied to give in to sex, you may need to end the relationship before you give in or physical force is applied, as in date rape.
Wait to Date
Various studies show the effects of early dating on teen sexuality; the younger the age of onset for dating, the younger the age for the first sexual encounter.
Date Someone Your Own Age
A young adolescent who dates someone several years older can be more easily manipulated and pressured into having sex.
Be Friends First
Concentrate on establishing a friendship and get to know each other as individuals rather than focusing on physical attraction.
Remember, you are only a teenager for seven years, but it only takes a few minutes in the heat of uncontrolled passion to get pregnant or to acquire a disease, several of which are incurable, and one of which is fatal.
Reprinted/adapted from LifeSupport (Spring/Summer 1992), a publication of the Human Development Resource Council, Inc., Norcross, Georgia.
Learn more about sexual purity here.
What Scripture says …
Titus 2:11-13 GOD’S WORD
After all, God’s saving kindness has appeared for the benefit of all people. It trains us to avoid ungodly lives filled with worldly desires so that we can live self-controlled, moral, and godly lives in this present world. At the same time we can expect what we hope for—the appearance of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ.
1 Timothy 4:8 GOD’S WORD
Training the body helps a little, but godly living helps in every way. Godly living has the promise of life now and in the world to come.
1 Timothy 4:12 GOD’S WORD
Don’t let anyone look down on you for being young. Instead, make your speech, behavior, love, faith, and purity an example for other believers.
1 Thessalonians 4:7 GOD’S WORD
God didn’t call us to be sexually immoral but to be holy.
1 Peter 1:13-16 GOD’S WORD
Therefore, your minds must be clear and ready for action. Place your confidence completely in what God’s kindness will bring you when Jesus Christ appears again. Because you are children who obey God, don’t live the kind of lives you once lived. Once you lived to satisfy your desires because you didn’t know any better. But because the God who called you is holy, you must be holy in every aspect of your life. Scripture says, “Be holy, because I am holy.”
Ephesians 4:21-24 GOD’S WORD
You have certainly heard his message and have been taught his ways. The truth is in Jesus. You were taught to change the way you were living. The person you used to be will ruin you through desires that deceive you. However, you were taught to have a new attitude. You were also taught to become a new person created to be like God, with a life that truly has God’s approval and is holy.
Ephesians 5:3 GOD’S WORD
Don’t let sexual sin, perversion of any kind, or greed even be mentioned among you. This is not appropriate behavior for God’s holy people.
Scripture is taken from GOD’S WORD®, © 1995 God’s Word to the Nations. Used by permission of Baker Publishing Group.