Download LifeDate Summer 2023
by Pastor Michael Schmidt
“Putting mom in the nursing home was the best thing we ever did. She’s eating better, they handle all of her medicine, they play bingo twice a week. You know, we were going over there at least twice a day to help her at home.”
“Oh really? Does she like it?”
“Well, we’ve been busy and don’t get over there like we should. But she seems happy.”
Does this conversation sound familiar? In a day and age when people are living longer, and their families are already stretched thin with activities, many have made the decision to put their aging parents, or other relatives, into a nursing home.
Now by no means is this article meant to make you feel guilty. There are plenty of situations where the best possible care is a nursing home.
But does that life soon become a forgotten life?
Is the nursing home far from family, making visitation infrequent? Is the nursing home far from friends, making visitation unlikely?
So often individuals go into the nursing home and are only visited monthly by the pastor, and even less so by friends and family.
Why?
Nursing homes can be harsh reminders that our loved ones are not as young and quick and healthy as they once were; they can be a reminder that death lurks at the door. Nursing homes are also reminders that as our days grow short, our earthly possessions will be stripped away, leaving us with only a dresser, a nightstand, half a closet, and a borrowed bed.
What does that say about ourselves? What does it say about our loved ones?
Are we wishing that our loved ones were dead? We would never consent to them being pumped full of drugs and left to die; but when we neglect them, when we forget about them, when we act as if they were already dead, have we not done what the secular world would do for the sick and elderly, just slower?
Rest assured, all is not lost. Jesus calls on us to visit the lonely, the downtrodden, the forsaken and the elderly.
“‘For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me’” (Matthew 25:35-40).
When so much has been stripped away, it is the presence of family and friends that brings cheer and joy to those in nursing homes.
When there is nothing to do but stare out the window and watch the world go by, it is the presence of the pastor who brings the things of God to them.
When you are surrounded by death, it is the presence of children that reminds you of all of the vitality of life as grown children fill in the details of stories that have grown hazy with time and young children bring energy to a room that has seemingly been sucked dry.
Do not let that life of a loved one become a forgotten life; rather, remember that life here and now.
Show your children that the life of the elderly is valuable as well by taking them into the nursing home.
Show them by regular visits that the life of their grandparent is valuable and treasured even now, when their mobility is limited, their memory foggy, and their eyes and ears have grown weak.
Show your children, and even yourself, that while that elderly loved one may not remember their names or know the day of the week, they still know the Lord’s Prayer and the Apostles Creed, and they can still sing most of their favorite hymns.
Show that while others may have forgotten this life, you have not—you remember and value this life.
Rev. Michael Schmidt is pastor of Peace Lutheran Church, Natoma, Kansas, and First Lutheran, Plainville, Kansas.