by Barbara Lane Geistfeld, D.V.M.
Lutherans For Life Regional Director of Texas
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8)
“You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” (James 4:2-3)
“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
I have followed Jesus for nearly 70 years. I cannot remember a time when He was not an integral part of my life; even when I wandered off, I did not venture far. I truly love Him. But, like Paul, I have carried thorns along the way. Paul makes it clear that Jesus intentionally did not remove his thorn, and I can certainly identify with that. I believe God made me like I am, on purpose, for His sake, for His glory. But behaviors, attitudes, and personality traits have plagued me for years; behaviors, attitudes, and traits that I have prayed for Him to remove over and over and over again. I have tried to “fix” these unwanted traits all my life, and just when I think I am doing well and conquering some of these ugly things, they burst out afresh.
Why is that? Because one, I am a sinner living in grace. The inner, sinful me still has much power and can overcome my will if that is my only weapon. But secondly, and more importantly, I think Jesus allows these things in my life to make me depend on Him. To make me cling to Him as the healer and lover of my soul. We do not know what Paul’s thorn was, but I sure recognize mine…my natural, nasty self that I deplore. I believe all of us have thorns in our flesh; something that keeps us weak and totally dependent on Jesus. We may ask, seek, and knock, but His answer may still be “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
I pray that, like Paul, we can delight in our thorns “for Christ’s sake … for when I am weak, then I am strong.”