Called to Remember

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This Bible study is dedicated to my father-in-law, Max Bartlett, who, on August 7, 2007, was taken from this earth to begin his resurrected life in Christ.

Max, like King David before him, realized that he was a poor man—a poor, miserable sinner in need of a Savior. He realized that, without Jesus Christ, he was nothing. With Jesus Christ, he was everything—a forgiven sinner with hope! What did God ask of Max? The same thing He asks of all men: Fight the good fight! Finish the race! Keep the faith! (2 Timothy 4:7)

Max was not a perfect man, but he knew the Perfect Man and remembered His greatest commandments: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind … Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39).

Whenever he remembered these words and tried to live them, he made the world a better place.

Called to Remember

There Is Always Hope: Lessons Learned on the Detours of Life

Joseph and His Rib

Called to Remember Leader’s Guide

Called to Remember
We have a Story to tell—it’s God’s Story, but it’s also our story. Christians call this story the Bible, but we could also call it the Rhythm of Life. This story is about the Creator’s involvement with His creation and how He redeemed it through His Son, Jesus Christ. There is plenty of action, mystery and suspense, drama and comedy. The story opens in Genesis—the Book of Beginnings. In the very first verses we discover that God created heaven and earth. He brought something out of nothing. All He had to do was speak and order was brought out of chaos. God saw that everything He had made was good.

Now all of this is very exciting, but let’s skip to the part about us—the part where we learn of our connection to God. After the earth and all the animals were made, God created humankind—male and female in His image. (Genesis 1:27) He gave them qualities similar to His own such as compassion, discernment, kindness, a sense of justice, and the ability to love and be loved. God spoke the heavens, trees, and rivers into existence, but he involved Himself in a most intimate way when He created man. (Genesis 2:7) He created Adam from the dust of the earth and then blew the breath of life into Adam’s nostrils so that he became a living being.

God saw, however, that it was not good for man to be alone. To help Adam realize his need for a “helper,” God brought all of the animals to Adam so that he might name them. (Genesis 2:18-20) It is possible that the animals came in pairs—male and female. Adam was made aware of his loneliness, yet he could see that not one of the animals would make a suitable helper or companion.

1. Let’s pause to think. If humans evolved from animals, why didn’t Adam recognize any of his relatives? Why didn’t he find a suitable companion among the animal family?

It was at this time that God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep and, while the man was in this passive state, God took from him a rib. God fashioned a woman from this rib and brought her to the man. Adam and Eve became husband and wife. (Genesis 2:21-24)

2. Did God create male and female to be the same? Why or why not? Do physical differences exist? What about psychological differences? Offer examples.

Our health needs differ. A woman may go to a gynecologist. A man does not. Our emotional and psychological needs differ. Men and women think, feel, respond, react, love, appreciate, and communicate differently. My husband and sons enjoy a long wilderness hike in Yellowstone National Park because it’s an adventure. They want to conquer the trail! I enjoy the hike because it gives me opportunity to bond with my men. (You can believe I bond very closely when we spot bear fur clinging to the bark of trees!) My men are not concerned with their attire, but I am because I want to look good when they find my body!

Contrary to what the world thinks, men and women are not the same. God created male and female to complement one another—to complete, not compete!

For the past several decades, however, ultra-feminist groups, so-called “sex experts,” and courses in schools and universities have encouraged us to believe that being equal means being the same. The results have been destructive.

3. One of the reasons abortion remains legal is to create an “even playing field.” What attitude is required to foster such thinking? What are the consequences? One of the reasons single motherhood is on the rise is because too many people don’t think fathers are necessary. What are the consequences? What does common sense tell us? Is it in harmony with God’s Word?

Men and women are created equal, but we are not the same. God did not create male and female at the same time, in the same way, or for the same purpose. Each gender was created to play a specific role and mentor in a specific way. It has been said that it is cultural suicide to deny the powerful differences between men and women because it is those very differences that hold society together.

4. Do you agree or disagree with the previous statement? Why or why not?

Titus was a young pastor trying to shepherd a flock in the midst of a pagan culture. Saint Paul could have been inspired to offer him any number of models to help his congregation not only stand against an immoral culture, but help build a moral culture. Saint Paul was inspired by the Holy Spirit to offer the model found in Titus 2:1-8.

5. What do you notice about these passages? How are these passages contrary to society? What words of instruction do you find in these passages that might be unpopular and even resisted by men or women?

6. Re-read Genesis 2:7. Where was Eve? What role did God assign to the man in Genesis 2:15? What is the significance of God’s order of creation?

7. What does God’s created order say about male leadership? Is leadership the same as “lordship”? In what way does Ephesians 5:25 illustrate leadership as true servanthood? In what ways does a man’s appropriate leadership help create a safer world in which to live?

8. To whom did God give the instructions for life and warning away from death? (Genesis 2:16-17) Did Eve also hear God speak these instructions?

God designed man to be strongly involved in his world and to bring order out of chaos. Man is called by God to be a leader but with the heart of a servant. Man is called to protect and provide.

9. Why was woman created? (Genesis 2:18) What does Psalm 144:12b have to say about the woman’s supporting role? Although many women bristle at the idea of being a helpmate, how does Jesus’ description of the Holy Spirit in John 14:16 help change a woman’s perspective about her role? A man’s perspective?

10. What does Genesis 3:20 tell us? Did the man name woman before—or after—sin? Do you find meaning in the name “Eve” for women today? Is there significance in the fact that man named woman? Why or why not?

God designed woman to be a helpmate for her husband and to bear life. Fulfilling these roles, she would also be a care-giver and nurturer of relationships.

11. Do you find any significance in woman’s creation from man’s rib? Explain your answer. How would you describe the rib bone? Do you think the “rib” (woman) is more vulnerable in her role of bearer of life and nurturer of relationships?

As long as the first woman trusted God’s Word and submitted to the servant-style leadership of her husband, she did not have to fear her vulnerability. The same is true, even in a sinful world, for women today.

Through husband and wife, God established marriage and family—the very institutions upon which society stands. God’s order of creation is significant and protective. A man’s appropriate leadership actually provides a woman with the freedom to be all that God created her to be; to, indeed, use her unique abilities in complimentary partnership with her husband and to build relationships. A man’s commitment to his wife through the honorable act of marriage is one of faithfulness to both God and woman. A husband’s name might, in fact, be described as his wife’s protective covering.

However, a husband’s lack of commitment, denial of responsibility, and neglect of his appropriate male role places his wife—and their children—in harm’s way.

12. Are young girls today more—or less—vulnerable than their grandmothers? Give reasons for your answer. Are young women at greater—or lesser—risk of being exploited or abused by young men today than in years past? Give examples to justify your answer.

What Went Wrong?
Let’s return to the Garden of Eden to continue the rest of the Story. God is a God of love. He loved the first man and woman with an agape love and wanted them to love Him and each other in the same way. However, such love and the trust that comes with it cannot be forced. Because the Creator didn’t want man and woman to be robots, without the ability to choose, He placed one tree in the Garden with fruit that was not to be eaten. There was no trickery here. God lovingly—yet honestly—told man what would happen if he ate the fruit of that forbidden tree. Re-read Genesis 2:16-17. It was beneath the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil where the first battle for life and death took place.

13. To whom did Satan, disguised as a serpent, direct his attention? (Genesis 3:1) Do you think Satan was aware of God’s created order? Why or why not? Do you think Satan was aware of the vulnerability of woman, the “rib”?

14. What question did Satan ask the woman? What do you think he was tempting her to do? Of what was woman guilty of in Genesis 3:3?

15. Where was the man when woman was being tempted? (Genesis 3:6)

It would seem that the man could hear Satan tempting his wife to sin. Yet, Adam didn’t step forward to place himself protectively between the evil one and his beloved wife. Certainly the man could hear his wife respond to Satan, yet Adam said nothing. Adam neither rebuked Satan nor cautioned his wife.

16. What was man called to remember and do? (Genesis 2:16-17)

Adam was called to act … to speak … to involve himself in a way that was obedient to God in order to help prevent chaos and destruction. Just as the Creator brought order (“heaven and earth”) out of chaos (“formlessness and void”), man was equipped (“created in God’s image”) to maintain that order. Yet Adam forgot! He failed—or refused—to remember his role and responsibility in God’s Story.

17. The woman was the first to eat the forbidden fruit, but when did sin enter the world? (Genesis 3:6-7) Whom did God hold responsible? (Genesis 3:8-9; Romans 5:12)

Suddenly, everything changed! Sin changed the relationship between the Creator and His creation. Perfect harmony cannot exist when men and women are at odds with God. Sin warped the relationship between man and woman. Perfect harmony cannot exist when men and women are at odds with one another. Sin brought hard work, pain in childbirth, difficult relationships, and death. Sin brought chaos into God’s perfect and orderly world.

Today, we find ourselves suffering the consequences of that first sin. As sons and daughters of Adam and Eve, we are targets of the enemy.

18. Has Satan changed his tactics? Does he still ask, “Did God really say …”? Give examples for your answer.

There is hope! There is a way that is right and good, a way that will make a positive difference for generations yet to be born! In order to prompt some important questions and draw some truthful conclusions, let’s focus our attention on another story—a true story about a woman named Rita. Her story is found in There Is Always Hope. (Take time to read the story.)

Rita’s story gives us a new perspective. She helps us understand what it’s like for a woman who fails to trust God’s Word and does not have the protective encouragement and support of a godly husband. But, are you curious? Do you wonder about Rita’s first husband? Do you wonder what he may have failed to remember and to do?

19. Return to Genesis 1:27. The word “male,” from the Hebrew word zakar, could be translated: “the remembering one.” Do you find this a strange description for the male? Why doesn’t God call man the “strong one,” or the “wise one”? What is it that you think God wants the male to remember? What is man called to remember in the following verses?

Psalm 8:5

Isaiah 64:8

Mark 10:14-16

Mark 10:27

John 1:1-3, 14

Romans 3:23-24

Ephesians 2:8-10

2 Timothy 3:14-17

What does God want man to do with what he has remembered?

Psalm 22:30-31

Psalm 78:2-8

2 Timothy 1:13-14

2 Timothy 2:24-26

Titus 2:6-8, 11-14

1 Peter 3:15-16

God wants the male to remember His Story! For just a minute, picture in your mind a family reunion. These are wonderful opportunities for cousins to connect and for grandparents, uncles, and aunts to pass on a legacy. This is best done by story telling which allows us to recall sad times, happy times, or even miracles. Telling stories reminds us of lessons taught and lessons learned.

20. Share a personal lesson you learned about godly manhood during your youth.

God wants both man and woman to remember His Story—from the first verse in Genesis to the last verse in Revelation. God wants us to remember our unique roles in His Story. God wants us to remember His instructions for life and His warnings against death. Throughout the Old Testament, God’s Story was passed from generation to generation; a Story which reminded sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters of God’s work, His promise, His faithfulness.

21. What happened when Adam failed to remember God’s Word and use it? (Genesis 3:7) What consequences of Adam’s forgetfulness do we experience today? What happened when Abraham failed to remember God’s promise and, instead, chose a plan of human design? (Genesis 16:1-4, 9-12) What consequences of Abraham’s forgetfulness do we still experience today? There is another man in Scripture who heard God’s Word and trusted it. Do you think this man learned a lesson from his ancestor Adam? Read Joseph and His Rib, on pages 19-20 of this booklet, to consider how the faithfulness of one man was used by God to make a difference for the whole world.

God’s Story also explains the purpose of male and female. Created to complement one another, man and woman play out unique roles which are vital to a healthy society’s existence. Using common sense, more and more people agree that men and women are not the same. Nevertheless, both men and women are puzzled and frustrated by gender differences. Rightly so! When we do not know God’s Story:

22. How will we explain our differences? How will we know what these differences mean for society? What will we teach our sons and daughters?

Men and women struggle in their relationships. Although we desire them, perfect relationships do not exist. God’s Story explains why.

23. Review Genesis 2:15. In what way did sin distort the role of man? (3:17-19) Review Genesis 2:18, 20. In what way did sin distort the role of woman? (3:16)

God’s Story explains the Creator’s good plan and how that plan was perverted. It illustrates why we need a Savior to bring us out of frustration, bitterness, heartache, loneliness, and chaos. It tells us that God sent that Savior—His only beloved Son Jesus Christ—to bring hope to the hopeless.

However, modern society has separated God’s Word from the real world. In our “sophistication,” we have labeled God’s ways “old-fashioned.” Every time Satan asks the question: Did God really say …? we are tempted to think that God didn’t really mean what He said. Giving in to this temptation, both men and women ignore or reject God—and, therefore, His good plan. In time, His Story with instructions for life is forgotten. The consequences are deadly.

Abortion: Just a Woman’s Issue?
By remembering God’s Story and the noble purpose for which He has created us, men and women could help to eliminate some of the problems which darken our world. By accepting the responsibilities which have been entrusted to us, we could begin to eliminate the reasons for abortion, infanticide, and the decay of the family.

24. Why do you think abortion remains a protected, legal right? Read Judges 2:10-17; Romans 1:25, 28; and Titus 1:15-16.

When people fail to remember God’s work in their lives—His creation and redemption of them—then they can’t truthfully know how to live or make decisions for life.

Abortion is most commonly defined as a woman’s issue; after all, it’s the woman who becomes pregnant, who carries the child, who faces a changed life. Therefore, many are quick to agree that it should be the woman who decides. But who is called to remember the words and works of God?

Men are called to pass on to future generations more than history; they are called by the Creator to pass on the memory of God in their lives. In this way, men show others—most especially their children—how they are characters in God’s Story and that, as sinful characters, they have a Savior in Jesus Christ. Present lives are placed into a larger perspective.

God has already done what He calls man to do. Think back to Genesis 1:1. God spoke into the darkness. He brought order out of chaos. When sin brought death, He brought life.

25. How do men uphold this principle today? Read Deuteronomy 30:19-20.

“Remembering” is a theme repeated throughout God’s Word. Families and, indeed, nations are strengthened and prepared for the future when they trust God and learn lessons from the past.

26. Why is a man called to remember? Read Deuteronomy 6:6-9; 31:6-8. In what way does remembering what God has done give us courage and hope? Read Nehemiah 9:9-12; Psalm 44:1-3. Are there examples of God’s faithfulness in your own family? Do examples of sin, forgiveness, and hope come to mind that help you as a man today?

For centuries, the rule of the sea was “women and children first.” Survivors of the sinking ship, Titanic, remember men who gave their lives so that women and children might live. Whether Christian or not, these men were influenced by a teaching that had shaped their thinking and behavior.

27. What is the foundation for sacrificial behavior? Read Ephesians 5:25.

In 1996, another ship sank off the coast of Indonesia. Men on board this ship, unlike those on the Titanic, saved themselves first. Women and children died that men might live.

28. Why is the servanthood of Jesus Christ referenced in John 13:12-17 the central ordering principle for society? What is the inevitable consequence when men forget or reject Jesus Christ as their role model? In what ways can “titanic chivalry” help decrease the numbers of aborted babies? At-risk daughters? Angry sons? Dishonored women?

Ninety-three percent of the abortions performed in this country are for convenience. Studies show the top three reasons for abortion are:

• “A baby at this time would interfere with work, school, or other responsibilities.”

• “I cannot afford a baby.”

• “I do not want to be a single parent,” or “I’m having problems” with husband or partner. (Source: The Alan Guttmacher Institute 1/97, A Torres and J.D. Forrest, “Why Do Women Have Abortions?,” Family Planning Perspectives, 1988.)

29. What is the consequence of sin for Adam found in Genesis 3:17-19? With this in mind, can you give reasons why men too often remain passive and uninvolved? How could the father of a preborn child respond in each of the three situations listed above? The disciples rebuked people who brought little children to Jesus so that He might touch them. How did Jesus respond in Mark 10:13-14a? What did He do? (v 16) What does He ask men—specifically fathers—to do today?

Men know the truth about God (Romans 1:18-21), but far too often they fail to keep that truth foremost in their minds. They fashion gods in their own image, predictable gods that will not interfere with their sinful choices. Martin Luther observed that self-will is idolatry. He explained that our own opinion is the head of the body of sin. It is for this reason that self-will must be crucified in us because man desires to set himself up as an idol which is an abomination before the one true God.

30. Do sinful choices require that God be forgotten? What has happened when a man fathers a child and then pays to abort that child? What is the result for the child? For the mother?

Adam was with his wife when she was tempted, yet he did nothing. He needed to speak, to act, to do anything that would be in obedience to God’s will. But he refused to speak into the darkness, to bring order out of chaos. The result was death. Adam made a willful choice not to remember God’s Word. Men who advocate abortion do the same today.

31. What is the message of Psalm 32:3-5 for men (and women) who fail to protect innocent life? In what ways can zakars (“the remembering ones”) help reduce both the supply and demand of abortion? In what ways can they help build a culture of life and offer hope for generations to come?

Perhaps Rita’s first husband forgot God’s Story. Perhaps he rejected it. Or, perhaps no one had passed it on so that he could remember. Therefore, like Adam and other men after him, Rita’s husband missed a grand opportunity to defend against chaos and to leave a legacy of hope. The psalmist writes: “The Lord is good. His mercy endures forever. His faithfulness endures throughout every generation” (Psalm 100:5). This is what every man needs to remember.

Called to Remember: Choose Life!

32. What does the Lord of Life require of man in Deuteronomy 10:12; Micah 6:8, Ephesians 6:13; and 1 Peter 1:13-16?

Adam was called to imitate the Heavenly Father. He was given the responsibility to bring order out of chaos. Today, men do this every time they try to be godly and appropriate leaders—every time they choose life over death.

Man was given the responsibility to be involved with his children. Today, fathers do this every time they teach, train, and discipline in the way of the Lord.

After sin entered the world, man was given the responsibility to love his wife as much as Christ loved the Church. Today, a husband does this every time he is willing to sacrifice his own needs for those of his wife.

Man was given the responsibility to point toward a future of hope. Today, sons, boyfriends, husbands, fathers, uncles, and grandfathers do this every time they honor a woman, love a child, and serve a neighbor. Men point to a future of hope every time they give witness to Jesus Christ—the Savior who connects sinful people to a holy God.

Remembering God’s Story doesn’t mean that men will live their lives perfectly. If it wasn’t for the Holy Spirit who brings us to faith in Christ, no man or woman would be able to do anything good. But remembering God does mean that a man will be equipped with wisdom, discernment, and a sense of justice. He will be motivated to show compassion and kindness. Just as he is forgiven, he will be equipped to forgive. A woman who has had an abortion must remember her sin and acknowledge it to God before she can move forward as His forgiven daughter. So must a man honestly face his stubborn delight in forgetting his role in God’s Story before he can move forward as a forgiven son of God to make a positive difference in his world.

 A man who remembers God’s Word finds life! (Proverbs 8:35)

 A man who remembers God’s Word receives confidence! (Philippians 4:13)

33. Remembering and using God’s Word, how can a man in today’s world use his leadership to make a difference in the family? Church? Society?

There is Always Hope: Lessons Learned on the Detours of Life       

When I was a high school senior, I started dating a college student. I was intrigued by his ability to “do his own thing.” It wasn’t long before I gave in to my own rebelliousness. As our relationship grew, there were things we did that were not right, but the thrill of the moment seemed worth the risk. I liked my new-found freedom. I believed I was doing all the things I really wanted to do.

Our wedding appeared to be one of joy. Yes, I loved this man, but at the same time, I was filled with doubts. I knew I was getting married because it was the “right” thing to do. I had committed myself to this man in the most intimate sense, and now there was only one choice—to marry the man I had given myself to. There was no going back.

If only I’d known then what I know now. God is a God of love. There is no sin too big for Him to forgive. But, I couldn’t see the truth. And so I found myself continuing to detour from my childhood dreams. My husband and I moved away from family and friends to strange, new places. I was lonely, yet it was very painful to correspond or interact with people from home because I knew I wasn’t where I wanted to be.

When my daughter was born, I wanted to stay home and raise her. I wanted to be the kind of mom my mother had been. But I wasn’t encouraged to do so. For a number of reasons, my husband and I thought we couldn’t make it financially if I didn’t work. In retrospect, I suppose I should have just said “no” to working outside the home. I suppose I was a little intimidated—both by my husband and by the world around me.

I felt inadequate as a mother. I didn’t have the faintest idea of how to be a mother, and I believed that other women could do a better job. Again, looking back, I realize that Satan was very busy in my life. Today, I know that if God gives you a baby, He will give you what you need to care for that child. All He wants us to do is trust Him and He will provide.

During the difficult years of my first marriage, I was without peace. I didn’t want to be the head of our house, but because my husband wasn’t all that he should have been, I thought I had to take charge. Those things that had been important to me during my growing up years were not important to him. My husband and I did not share the same faith. To this day, I don’t believe that he ever wanted to hurt me or our daughter; he simply didn’t know how to be a godly man because he didn’t know God. During the trials of our marriage, he became more frustrated in his role as a husband and father.

So many of the choices I made placed me in harm’s way. As a woman in need of relationships, I was vulnerable. In my vulnerability, I rebelled. And rebellion, as we all learn, can separate us from God. I was more and more lonely, more and more anxious about motherhood, and more and more angry with my situation.

At the time of my divorce, I was carrying a heavy burden. There were so many things that my family and friends didn’t know. So many of the choices I had made were contrary to God’s will. Probably most painful was the battle I was doing with myself. I was quick to use situation ethics; still, I had a sense of right and wrong. My rebellious nature conflicted with that “still small voice” within me.

It was uncomfortable to be around some people, especially certain friends I had grown up with. So I put up barriers around the things that were too tender inside me. In self-defense, I cut myself off from those people whose lives seemed orderly and perfect. I told myself that I had to live differently because, after all, I was living in the real world which they could not understand. I cut myself off from people who cared and, instead, sought friendships with people who were also angry and hurting.

Denial is a powerful tool of Satan. It saps our strength and leaves us groaning under a heavy burden. But nothing can be hidden from God. He has been very good to me. As He helped me acknowledge my sins, He also showed me His faithfulness, forgiveness, and mercy.

Today, I am very thankful for the family that remained loyal and always welcomed me home. I am thankful for the childhood friends who didn’t give up on me. Time for healing gave me opportunity to accept that, yes, I made some bad choices, but they are in the past. I am reminded of the words from Isaiah: “I alone am the one who is going to wipe away your rebellious actions for my own sake. I will not remember your sins anymore” (43:25).

Lessons learned on the detours of life have brought me to where I am today. And that seems a good place to end my story. The lessons learned in my lifetime can be translated into words of wisdom for my daughter and other women.

• First, it’s never too late to turn around and start over. Nothing is ever hopeless—there is always hope.

• Second, if doubts exist about a particular choice, don’t make it! It’s true that we have many choices in life, but they’re not all good for us.

• Third, patience is truly a desirable virtue that serves us all well.

• Fourth, don’t put yourself in situations that are tempting. Think about the consequences of your actions. Be careful to surround yourself with friends you can trust and to whom you are accountable.

• Fifth, set priorities for yourself. Don’t include those things you think would make others like you. Instead, prioritize those goals that you know will lead to a healthy future and please God.

• Sixth, be true to yourself. If you are true to yourself, then you will also be true to others.

Jesus reminds us to love others as ourselves. (Mark 12:31) I can love others because God first loved me!

Thank You, Lord, for Your patience, compassion, and eternal love. You are truly the God of love and life! Amen.

A true story by Rita Davis as told to her friend, Linda Bartlett.

Joseph and His Rib

When a man remembers the Word of the Lord, he is equipped to protect vulnerable and fragile lives.

Joseph, a young man from the house of David, was probably like every other soon-to-be husband—nervous, but excited all the same. That is until his fiancée came to him with shocking news. Mary was pregnant, but Joseph was not the father. The world, as Joseph knew it, had collapsed around him. He felt betrayed, hurt, angry. Break the engagement and walk away from this woman, whispered his pride.

Everything had changed. Plans were ruined. Reputation was at stake. Uncharted territory lay ahead. At this precarious moment in his life, Joseph had nothing to hang on to … nothing, that is, except the Word of the Lord.

The Word gave Joseph courage. “Don’t be afraid!” It was the Word that showed Joseph how to be faithful. “Take Mary as your wife. She will give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus” (Matthew 1:20-21).

Perhaps, in holding on to the Word, Joseph remembered the experience of another man named Adam. Perhaps, in a moment of truth, Joseph could picture Adam standing next to Eve, his wife. Perhaps, with wisdom only from the Holy Spirit, Joseph recognized the significance of Eve’s creation by God from man’s rib.

The rib is a strong bone, yet fragile. It supports and guards the heart and breath of man, yet is vulnerable to the blow of attack. Satan, who hates the life that God has made, is a master at sensing vulnerability. That day in the Garden, Satan set his target and went straight to Adam’s rib. Adam was with Eve when she was attacked. He saw the blow coming but failed to cover his rib. It was only when Adam ate the fruit offered to him that sin entered the world. When both husband and wife ran to hide, it was to the man that the Lord spoke. It was Adam who was held accountable.

Perhaps, with discernment only from God, Joseph understood he must not repeat the sin of his ancestor and do to his rib what Adam had done to his.

Perhaps, in remembering what Adam had failed to do, Joseph chose not to repeat the sin of his forefather by leaving his rib uncovered. Let the village talk! Adjust carefully-made plans! Trust the Lord! Although it meant leaving his zone of comfort, Joseph did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him to do. He covered his rib by taking Mary as his wife. And when Mary’s child was born, Joseph named Him Jesus.

God wanted Joseph to make a difference—a difference that would impact the world. But such a difference could be made only by being faithful. Such faithfulness required that Joseph leave all that was familiar and put his life and the life of Mary into the hands of God.

Today, when a young man pressures his girlfriend to have sex, he is leaving her physically, emotionally, and spiritually vulnerable. He has placed his “needs” before hers and, in so doing, left her open to attack. When a man does not promise to love, cherish, and cover a woman with his name, but simply share living quarters and a bed, he is leaving her open to attack. When a man fathers a child but does not accept the privilege and responsibility of being a daddy, he is leaving both mother and child uncovered and vulnerable to the world.

But when a man remembers God and His call to leadership, he is able to make a difference. A young man who guards his girlfriend’s virtue makes a difference. A husband who remains true to his wife makes a difference. A man who understands the privilege of fatherhood and accepts his responsibility as a daddy makes a difference. Men of faithfulness have a grand opportunity to defend against chaos and leave a legacy of hope.

Convenience told Joseph to walk away from Mary. Self-defense told Joseph to think of number one. Pride told Joseph that he could do better. Fear told Joseph to hide. But God told Joseph not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife.

Joseph did what the angel of the Lord commanded. He covered Mary, his rib, and the unborn Child whose heart beat under her own. And after the Baby was born in the most humble of circumstances, Joseph named the Child Jesus. Through all the frightening days ahead, Joseph remembered the Word of the Lord. And the Lord did not forget Joseph. When danger was near, the angel of the Lord warned Joseph. When uncertainty abounded, the angel of the Lord directed Joseph.

It’s true that life wasn’t ever the same for Joseph. It certainly wasn’t what he had planned. But Joseph remembered the Word of the Lord. And, in doing so, he received courage to do what was asked of him. Joseph was faithful to cover Mary, his rib. He raised her Son, Jesus, in a godly home and accompanied Him to worship. Some 2000 years later, the Boy who grew to be a Man in the house of a carpenter is still changing lives.

Joseph made a difference.

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Called to Remember Leader’s Guide

1. Encourage the class to contrast humans and animals. Humans, unlike animals, have the ability to think, reason, set goals, feel, appreciate, and love. Discuss God’s unique involvement with man and woman. God had only to “speak” and there was light; speak, and there were animals. Yet, He involved Himself intimately in the creation of the male human (Genesis 2:7) and the female human. (Genesis 2:22) Unlike animals, Adam and Eve were created in the image of God. After falling from that perfect image, God promised a Savior from sin so that the human family (not the animal family) would have the hope of eternal life in heaven.

2. Because God created Adam and then created Eve, He did not have it in mind that they be the same; equal, yes, but not the same. Let the group contrast our physical differences and offer examples of psychological differences (i.e. women talk about their problems in order to relieve stress, men try to “fix” problems; women need reassurance, men need encouragement). God created male and female for specific roles which are complementary.

3. Early feminist Susan B. Anthony called abortion “child murder.” Elizabeth Cady Stanton classed it with the killing of newborns as “infanticide.” She wrote: “When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit.” Unfortunately, many of today’s feminists have been led to believe that, if they are truly going to do what men do, then they must have “reproductive freedom.” If a man doesn’t have to bear a child, then neither, they say, should a woman. (This attitude goes against the maternal instinct, given by God. Motherhood is not a burden; it is a blessing.) Consequences of such an attitude include: promiscuity, abortion, post-abortion grief, broken relationships, loss of trust and commitment, and breakdown of the family. If it’s OK for a man to be sexually aggressive, but uncommitted, they say, then it should be OK for women as well. (This attitude promotes loss of modesty and places both man’s and woman’s precious gift of sexuality at risk.) Consequences are the same as above. Ask the group to consider the implications of the welfare system which rewards women for having children but not marrying. God’s plan for family includes a father and a mother. Sons learn how to be appropriate leaders from servant-style fathers; daughters receive affirmation from fathers who express appropriate affection and are thus encouraged to delay their search for love “in all the wrong places.” However, in families where the father is absent, mothers can point their children to the love, protection, and guidance of the Heavenly Father who is always faithful.

4. Encourage discussion. A study of past cultures reveals that “unisex” cultures (in which male and female roles blurred) could not exist for long. Ask: Why might this be so? When young people do not have their gender affirmed and reinforced, they are abandoned to their own resources or to those wishing to exploit gender confusion and vulnerabilities for evil purposes. However, cultures thrive in which older women teach and mentor younger women and older men teach and mentor younger men. This is accomplished largely through the family unit, designed by God as a place of safety and security, dependent upon a strong marriage between a man and a woman whose lives are submitted to Him. Children of such a union learn about themselves, their roles, and their contribution to society as male and female persons.

5. Have the group read Titus 2:1-8. The group should note that the passages recognize the order of creation and offer different instructions to each gender. Titus 2:1-8 opposes today’s culture that wants to blur the lines of distinction between men and women and, in fact, confuse their roles. Encourage the group to pick out certain words or phrases of instruction that might upset or even anger women. These include “pure,” “busy at home” (NIV) or “homemakers” (God’s Word to the Nations), and “subject to their husbands.” (2:4-5) Encourage the group to pick out certain words or phrases of instruction that might discourage or intimidate men. These include “worthy of respect,” “self-controlled,” “sound in faith” (2:2) and, perhaps most especially, “set an example.” (2:7)

6. The woman was not in the Garden because God had not yet created her. In Genesis 2:15, God assigned to man the role of caretaker. The man was called by God to work and to care for creation. God is the God of order. His ways are not random or haphazard. Adam was created first and, before woman was created, man was given dominion over the earth, entrusted with the Word of Life, and asked to name the animals.

7. The created order places the man in the role of protector, provider, and spiritual leader. A godly man protects his family from the greatest enemies of all—Satan and sin. The responsibility of man is for the good of woman and child. John Piper writes that, “masculinity is a God-given trust for the good of all His creatures, not a right for men to exercise for their own self-exaltation or ego-satisfaction.” Piper points out that “mature masculinity” does not seek to be served, but to serve. It “mobilizes the strength of others.” (What’s the Difference? Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible by John Piper, Crossway Books, Wheaton, IL) Ephesians 5:25 points a man to the selfless act of Jesus who gave His life for His bride, the Church. A man helps create a safer world when he respects all human life—at every stage of development—as a gift from God while teaching patience as opposed to instant gratification, kindness as opposed to cruelty, faithfulness as opposed to unfaithfulness, and truth as opposed to deceit.

8. It is easy to think that both Adam and Eve were standing under the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil when God instructed humans not to eat of it. However, as we noted earlier, the woman was not yet created. The instructions for life and warning away from death were given to the man. God wanted the man to remember and pass on the words of life and warnings against death to woman—and the generations that would come.

9. The woman was created to be man’s helper or helpmate. Read Psalm 144:12b. In today’s world, many women ask: “Why would I want to be a pillar when I could be the palace?” Let the group discuss the implications of such thinking. Questions you might ask include: What is the purpose of a pillar or “stately column”? What happens to a structure without strong pillars? Now, read John 14:16. (Note: “Counselor” [NIV] can also be translated as “helper” [GOD’S WORD].) Woman has a noble and life-influencing role. Let the group discuss the ways this truth can change both a woman’s and man’s perspective on the role of women.

10. The man named woman before—and after sin. Note Genesis 2:23b and Genesis 3:20. (Note: “Eve” is commonly believed to mean “living.” Eve would become the mother of all the living. This is a role—indeed, an honor—not given to man. In light of today’s abortion statistics, it would seem that Satan violently shows his hatred of human life by tempting women to become mothers of dead children rather than living children.) There is significance in man naming woman because whenever one names someone or something else, i.e. man naming the animals, he has dominion or authority over them. The headship of man over woman is also spoken of in 1 Corinthians 11:3. In a perfect world, a wife would not resent her husband’s headship. In today’s sinful world, woman desires her husband’s authority (Genesis 3:16) and often anguishes over it. Headship embraces the concept of honor. Ask: How can a man abuse his position of headship and lose honor?

11. The rib bone is strong because it supports both the heart and breath of man. However, the rib is also very fragile. It is an easy target in the midst of battle. The rib is easily fractured or broken. Martin Luther appreciatively referred to his wife, Katie, as “his rib.” When Luther spoke of Eve, he observed that Eve (the “rib”) was perhaps more vulnerable under attack because she was not tightly holding on to her Sword, the Word of God. Let the group discuss vulnerability for women in their relational roles of mothers, wives, or friends.

12. Marriage, the family, and religious institutions do not offer today’s young women the safety and stability previous generations of girls and women took for granted. Honorable and protected roles of daughter, wife, and mother have lost much of their significance and clarity. Ask: Do you think girls and women are encouraged to “compete” with men athletically? In the business world? Sexually? What are the consequences physically? Emotionally? Spiritually? Modesty is considered “prudish,” but when modesty is lost, girls are at greater risk of being abused by young men who have no sense of chivalrous respect. In longing for intimacy, today’s young women often settle for sex. Encourage the group to offer examples. Then, ask: Today’s young woman may seem more independent and free, but is she more content?

13. Satan’s target was the woman. Because Satan was present at Creation, he was well aware of God’s created order. He not only despised it, but ignored it and went straight to the “rib” who was vulnerable without the Word of Truth and, therefore, more easily tempted to take control.

14. Satan asked, “Did God really say … ?” He was tempting the woman to doubt God’s Word and, thus, alienate the created from the Creator. Woman was guilty of adding to God’s Word. Ask the group to contrast Genesis 2:17 with 3:3. Woman added: “… and you must not touch it.” She distorted God’s directive. Ask: What was another way that woman might have responded to temptation? Let the group offer possibilities based on God’s design and good plan. Answers may include: the woman should have trusted God’s true Word and responded with it or the woman should have refrained from dialoguing with Satan and, instead, let her husband use the Sword of Truth.

15. Draw the group’s attention to Genesis 3:6. Let the class consider the implications.

16. The man was called to remember God’s Word for life, heed His warnings against death, and do God’s will.

17. God’s Word, the Bible, tells us that the eyes of Adam and Eve were opened after man ate the fruit that woman gave him. (Genesis 3:6-7) When both ran to hide from God, it was to man that God directed His question: “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:8-9) Ask the group to read Romans 5:12.

18. Let the group discuss and give examples to support their answers. Answers might include: “Did God really say that a literal Creation is true?” or “Did God really say that sex apart from marriage is sinful?” or “Did God really say that abortion is wrong?” Encourage the group to ponder the following statement: Before sin, Satan is a tempter but, after sin, he becomes the accuser. For example, before an abortion he whispers: “Did God really say that abortion is wrong?” but, after the choice has been made, he may ask, “How could you kill your own child? Can God ever forgive you?” Ask for other examples.

19. The word male is derived from the root “to remember.” Direct the group to look up the passages. What is man called to remember? (1) His origins (Psalm 8:5); (2) he is like clay in the hands of the Potter (Isaiah 64:8); (3) he should not hinder children from coming to Jesus (Mark 10:14-16); (4) all things are possible with God (Mark 10:27); (5) all life is from God, and the Word—Jesus Christ—brings eternal life (John 1:1-3, 14); (6) all men and women are sinners in need of redemption through Christ Jesus (Romans 3:23-24); (7) we are saved by faith, not works, and any good work we do comes from God (Ephesians 2:8-10); (8) God’s Word makes us wise and is useful in all circumstances (2 Timothy 3:14-17). What does God want man to do with what he has remembered? (1) Proclaim the Lord to future generations (Psalm 22:30-31); (2) teach another generation the mighty things that God has done and lead them so they don’t repeat mistakes (Psalm 78:2-8); (3) guard the faith (2 Timothy 1:13-14); (4) gently teach and instruct (2 Timothy 2:24-26); (5) mentor so the young or weaker in faith know how to live and do what is good (Titus 2:6-8, 11-14); (6) be prepared to give an answer for what he believes and keep a good conscience (1 Peter 3:15-16).

20. Give the group time to share personal lessons.

21. When the first man, Adam, failed to remember God, sin entered the world. Consequences include changed relationships, frustration, pain, and suffering. When Abraham failed to remember God’s promise, chaos reigned. The consequence of Abraham’s sin exists today in the conflict between the people of Israel (Isaac’s lineage) and Arab nations (Ishmael’s lineage). Joseph, the carpenter, was different. Direct the group’s attention to Joseph and His Rib on pages 19-20. Give the group opportunity to read and contrast Joseph’s behavior with that of Adam and Abraham.

22. Give the group time to contemplate these questions. Evolution is a faith in random chance. Ask: What explanation does evolution offer for gender? Marriage? Family? An ordered society? There is no logic or reason in chaos and random chance. Ask: What are the consequences of “exchanging the truth of God for a lie”? (Romans 1:25)

23. The curses handed down by God parallel His original design. Because of sin, God cursed the ground. Now a man has difficulty subduing his world. A man’s fear of being exposed as inadequate, incompetent, and unable to make a difference in the world may cause him to become passive. He may fear taking initiative and being sensitive in relationships. Because of sin, the woman has difficulty in her role of completing the man and supporting him. She has pain in childbirth and “desire[s]” to rule over her husband. (Note: The same Hebrew word used in Genesis 3:16 of the woman’s desire being toward her husband is used in Genesis 4:7 of sin crouching at Cain’s door, desiring to rule over him.) By design, a woman still desires love and acceptance, but her fear of being vulnerable in relationships causes her to control situations rather than put herself at risk of rejection.

24. Direct the group to the passages from Scripture. Abortion remains a protected, legal right because people have forgotten God’s Word or don’t believe that His Word is applicable to today’s society. In doubting God’s Word, they ignore God’s role for appropriate manhood and womanhood, fatherhood and motherhood. Children—and civilization itself—are at risk.

25. Men cannot create or give life like God does, but they can choose life. In remembering God, they can choose life instead of death through abortion, infanticide, and assisted suicide. They can bring order out of chaos, hope out of hopelessness. They can enjoy the privilege of “working” with God and living in harmony with His good plan. This has a positive impact on countless other lives for generations to come.

26. God wants a man to remember His Word and use it so that he can teach his children, be courageous, and not give up. (Deuteronomy 6:6-9; 31:6-8) In Nehemiah 9:9-12, man is reminded of the faithfulness of God in leading His people out of Egypt. Psalm 44:1-3 draws our attention to God’s faithfulness and mighty works which not only sustained the Israelites but made them victors over their enemies. Encourage the group to offer examples of God’s faithfulness in their own families.

27. The teaching of “women and children first” comes directly from God’s Word as revealed to Saint Paul in Ephesians 5:25. Although these words instruct a husband to be unselfish in his love for his wife, they are also words of instruction for all men in their relationship to women and children.

28. Jesus, the perfect role model for men and the respecter of women, served others unselfishly and without apology. A society in which such unselfishness is practiced is a more vibrant, safe, and hopeful society. When Jesus Christ is forgotten, both men and women fall to behaviors produced by their sinful nature. Encourage the group to list ways in which “titanic chivalry” (Ephesians 5:25) and servanthood (John 13:12-17) help decrease the numbers of aborted babies (men accept responsibility for fatherhood and provide protective covering for mother and preborn child), at-risk daughters (men provide appropriate affection and protective covering as fathers), angry sons (men involve themselves with discipline, training, and positive role-modeling), and dishonored women (men guard a woman’s virtue and treat all women as they want their sisters treated).

29. Feelings of inadequacy and incompetence are hard things for a man. They can immobilize him or cause him to pull away from his responsibilities. If a man does not know God’s plan, how can he know how to appropriately involve himself in a relationship? Encourage the group to offer God-pleasing responses of fathers of preborn children who may be confronted with reasons for abortion a, b, and c. Jesus wants all children to come to Him, to learn about Him, to grow in Him. He wants fathers to bring their children to Him by welcoming them into the world, bringing them for baptism, introducing them to their Savior Jesus Christ, instructing them in God’s Word, disciplining them in love, and guiding them toward a future of hope. (Note: As a follow-up to this lesson, you may want to call Lutherans For Life to ask for suggestions on how your group and/or congregation can give support to unwed mothers and fathers, educate on the abortion issue, and provide comfort to those who have already had abortions in your church and community.)

30. In order to make a sinful choice, God must be pushed aside. People may try to “shape” God in their own image so that He becomes “tolerant” of their behavior, but this makes Him into something He is not. When a father pays for an abortion, he is forgetting God’s command, “Do not kill!” He is forgetting that God is the Creator. (Psalm 139:13-16; Isaiah 44:24; 64:8) The child dies without ever having had opportunity to grow in a relationship with Jesus Christ. The mother is left with the pain of an unnatural act which directly opposes her maternal instinct and places her at odds with herself and, most importantly, the Creator of Life.

31. Let the group read Psalm 32:3-5. There is hope for fathers (and mothers) after the sin of abortion! King David had a sin that weighed heavily on him but, after his confession, he found freedom in forgiveness. Confessing the sin of abortion (like any other sin) and leaving it at the foot of the Cross allows men (and women) to reconcile with God through Jesus. Give the group opportunity to list ways that zakars can help reduce both the supply and demand of abortion while also protecting women. A zakar helps reduce both the supply and demand for abortion when he uses the Word of God to change the way people think. A zakar makes the world a safer place for all humanity when he strives to help others understand that each human life gets its value from the Creator who made it and the Savior, Jesus, who redeemed it with His precious blood. A zakar does not solve human problems by killing the humans! Instead, he creatively teaches younger generations how to care for “the least of these,” serve in the midst of inconvenience, and see Jesus in all people of every age, color, and circumstance.

32. Read and discuss the passages of instruction and hope. Pray that all men would look to their Maker and Redeemer for courage and strength.

33. Let the group offer possible ways for men to make a difference using the Word of God in today’s family, church, and society. 

Suggested Resources:

50 Crucial Questions About Manhood and Womanhood by John Piper and Wayne Grudem (The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, Libertyville, Illinois; www.cbmw.org)

Bringing Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson (Tyndale House Publishers, Wheaton, Illinois)

www.ezerwoman.wordpress.com

God’s Word for Life (A pro-life Bible with unique commentaries on assorted life issues) published by God’s Word to the Nations and Lutherans For Life,

www.lutheransforlife.org or 888-364-LIFE.

Men and Marriage by George Gilder (Pelican Publishing, Gretna, Louisiana).

Men, Women, and Relationships: Building a Culture of Life Across Generations by Linda Bartlett (www.lutheransforlife.org or 888-364-LIFE).

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker, M.D. (Regnery Publishing, Inc.).

What’s the Difference? Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible by John Piper (Crossway Books, Wheaton, Illinois).

Word of Hope (the healing ministry of Lutherans For Life) www.word-of-hope.org.

Titus 2 for Life (a model for mentoring biblical manhood and womanhood)

www.titus2-4life.org; lindabartlett@mchsi.com

Called to Remember author Linda Bartlett is the wife of Paul, the mother of two sons and two daughter-in-laws, and the grandmother of three grandsons. Linda is a homemaker, writer, and national speaker. She has been involved in the ministry of Lutherans For Life (LFL) on the local, state, and national levels since 1981. She served on the national board of LFL for 18 years, nine of those years as president. Linda also started Titus 2 for Life, a ministry model that mentors biblical manhood and womanhood through retreats, training events, and the web site www.titus2-4life.org.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. All rights reserved throughout the world. Used by permission of International Bible Society.

Selected Scripture also taken from GOD’S WORD®. GOD’S WORD® is a copyrighted work of God’s Word to the Nations. Quotations are used by permission. All rights reserved.