The cross has a special meaning for the Christian woman. It is a reminder of a love so great that it was willing to endure ridicule, humiliation, pain, and even death. The Cross—hanging on her bedroom wall or on a chain around her neck—reminds a Christian woman of the amazingly unselfish love of Jesus. The “look” of Jesus’ love is one of humility. The “behavior” of Jesus’ love turns away from self to others.
Not long ago, I was with my husband and several male members of my family at a restaurant. The woman who served our table was wearing a cross necklace which hung deep between her partially-exposed breasts. When the men at my table looked (believe me, it was hard not to!), what do you suppose they saw? The cross—or something else?
The woman who served our table most probably had no intention of being a “temptress.” It is quite likely that she—like many of us—was so used to the partially-exposed look of today’s “fashionable” women that she didn’t see anything harmful about what she was wearing. Perhaps no one ever explained to her how sin distorts a man’s visual appreciation of a woman’s body. Or, perhaps, she did not understand the look and behavior of the cross and her responsibility to lead away from temptation. At that moment, the Christian men of my family were called to turn their eyes away from the woman and, instead, focus on the cross of Jesus. This meant acting like gentlemen who are respectful of women.
The world’s look and behavior of love boldly screams: “Look at me!” Everywhere a woman turns today she sees images which lead her toward selfish interests rather than the best interests of others. Be honest. What is the message of Victoria’s Secret? It is one thing for a married woman to purchase something from this store for her husband—and husband only—to see her in, but can we confidently say that’s who Victoria’s Secret is marketing to? Every time a woman walks through the check-out lane at the grocery store, she is confronted with messages that lead her toward selfish interests rather than the best interests of others. “Sexy looks for sexy women,” reads one magazine cover. “How to get what you want when you want it,” reads another.
God’s look and behavior of love tenderly encourages: “Look at the cross!” Every time we gaze upon the cross we are reminded of Jesus’ look and behavior of love. His look turned outward toward others. His behavior placed the well-being of others ahead of His own.
God’s Book of Love—the Bible—instructs us in the way of love. 1 Corinthians 13 is extremely helpful for men and women in a dating relationship. Pastors often speak these words to the bride and groom on the wedding day. But these words also describe the everyday look and behavior of love–a lifestyle of love! God’s kind of love can have a profound effect on what we choose to say, how we choose to act, and even what we choose to wear.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
God’s love is “patient” and “kind.” How does this motivate us to speak? Act? Dress?
God’s love “does not envy” or “boast” because it is not “proud.” How does this motivate us to speak? Act? Dress?
God’s love “is not rude” or “self-seeking.” How does this motivate us to speak? Act? Dress?
God’s love “does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” How does this contrast with the world’s kind of love?
God’s love “always protects.” How does this motivate us to speak? Act? Dress?
God’s love “always trusts … hopes … perseveres.” When voices of the world tempt you to do what is “popular” or “fashionable,” what courage and confidence can you find in being loved as God’s daughter?
God’s love protects the body, heart, mind, and soul.
Every day, our own thoughts and actions remind us of how sinfully human we really are. It is impossible for us to have the perfect look and behavior of Christ’s love. St. Paul wisely recognized that even when we try to think, speak, and act in a God-pleasing way we too often fail. But Saint Paul didn’t allow that to discourage him from setting high standards for himself. Nor, for that matter, did he grow weary of doing the good things that God not only wanted but planned for him to do.
The world works hard to entangle us in selfishness and sin. And, yes, our sinful nature prohibits us from having the perfect look and behavior of love. But there is no reason to despair! God’s Word tells us to fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith, who endured the cross. Don’t grow weary! Don’t lose heart! (Hebrews 12:1-3)
This article is excerpted from the Bible study entitled Dressing for Life: Secrets of the Great Cover-up. The study can be used by mothers and daughters who have attended the purity lifestyle show or by girls in catechism class, youth group, or during purity retreats.