Can we, as Christians, advocate the notion of “safe sex?”
Are we performing a service, or a disservice to our children and community if we begin to distribute condoms?
Consider these twelve questions:
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Are we sending a double message: “Don’t—but if you do, at least practice ‘safe sex’.” Is this not really saying one thing but expecting another behavior? Do we tell our teen to go ahead and drink and drive, just don’t get caught or have an accident?”
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Is there such a thing as “safe sex” outside of marriage? Every sexual act opens us to the possibility of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, including AIDS. In its latest brochure on Condoms and Sexually Transmitted Diseases, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration clearly states several times, “Condoms are not 100% safe.” They also write, “The surest way to avoid these diseases is to have no sex altogether (abstinence).”
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Will we mislead our children into thinking adultery is acceptable? God’s Word forbids fornication and adultery, warning that the unrepentant who practice it will not inherit the kingdom of God. (Exodus 20:14; 1 Corinthians 6:9)
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Will our youth be told the truth that “value neutral” sex education in our schools promoting condom use the past 30 years led to an increase in teen sexual activity, sexually transmitted disease, sterility, sexual problems and teen pregnancy and contributed to an annual abortion rate of 1.3 million babies? Will they be told the truth that in February of 1999 The Consortium of State Physician Resource Councils, an association of more than 2,000 doctors, released a study that found the decline in adolescent pregnancy, abortion, and birth rates in the late 1990’s was attributable to abstinence not to an increase in condom use?
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Will we be forcing some students and their parents to pay for something to which they take moral exception? (School-based clinics; condom dispensers in cafeteria and rest rooms—already a reality in many schools.)
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Are we opening ourselves to other “choices” being made available to our children without our knowledge or consent such as powerful and dangerous abortifacient pills like RU-486? (It’s already been proposed.)
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What values do present “pregnancy prevention” programs teach our children? Do these programs attack the cause (promiscuous sexual activity) or only the symptom (illegitimate pregnancy/disease). Do they propose a mechanical fix for a moral problem (condoms instead of conscience) by ignoring the values that drive behavior?
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Will we be offering a simplistic solution to a complex problem—”Band-Aid solution in a Band-Aid society”—that merely covers, but doesn’t cure?
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Will we be telling our youth that purity—sexual abstinence before marriage and fidelity within marriage—is an impossible and naive ideal?
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Will we foster selfishness, self indulgence, instant gratification and irresponsible behavior as qualities that are acceptable?
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What are the ramifications in the event of condom failure? What happens when our youth beget children? Who is responsible? The condom manufacturer? Does the notion of “safe sex” promote a false sense of security, and an attitude that we can avoid the consequences of our behavior?
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What are we doing to the emotional and spiritual lives of our youth when we put them in positions that are not in harmony with what God has written on our hearts? Will we have more young people suffering unhealthy relationships, begetting children outside of marriage, seeking abortions and carrying lifelong grief and trauma as a result?
Ministers of the “safer sex” gospel contend condoms are teens’ salvation, but they neglect to tell teens that condoms are ineffective in protecting against the most prevalent sexually-transmitted disease, HPV – a disease that is responsible for 99.7 percent of all cervical cancer cases in the United States. That’s an egregious oversight that should be tolerated no longer. There are many holes in the condom enthusiasts’ arguments, and it’s time for them to be exposed. (Janet Paschall, Family Research Council, December, 1999.)
The presence of birth control clinics in our schools tends to legitimize, and even encourage, the very behavior whose natural consequences it intends to discourage. It thrusts upon many of our young people a new, publicly legitimized possibility. At the same time, these clinics open up the possibility of a wedge being driven between students and those who should have the greatest influence on them – their parents. (It’s like saying) “We give up teaching right and wrong to you. There’s nothing we can do.” (Former Secretary of Education Dr. William Bennett)
If you feel your parents are overprotective, their message may not be helpful. If they seem to fear your sexuality, or if they don’t want you to be sexual at all until some distant time, you may feel you have to tune out their voice entirely. Religious voices may say, “Wait, wait, wait. These feelings belong only in marriage,” or “oral sex and homosexual relationships are sinful.” You will have to decide for yourself how important these messages are for you. Unfortunately, many people find that when the religious voices say a great big NO it isn’t very helpful and just makes them feel guilty. (Changing Bodies, Changing Lives the book most recommended for teens on sex education by Planned Parenthood, pps. 87-89.)
One-third of the nation’s schools are teaching abstinence-only sex education. Surveys conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation and the Allen Guttmacher Institute show that 34% of secondary school principals and 35% of district superintendents said their schools teach sexual abstinence as the best option, avoiding teaching birth control. Most schools teach “abstinence plus” which discourages sexual activity but includes teaching about birth control for those who decide to have sex.
Some school districts are moving away from “value-free” sex education toward abstinence-only curricula. Schools in the South are more likely to teach abstinence, and laws in 15 states require schools to teach the value of abstinence until marriage. (Religion Today News Summary, December 15, 1999)
What percentage of 14-year-olds would you guess have had sex? According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, it’s 36.9 percent—more than one out of three. How many 12th graders? It’s 66.4 percent—the vast majority. “During the past three decades, the level of sexual activity in adolescents in the United States has increased,” said the AAP in a just-released revision of its policy on contraception and adolescents.
As healthcare providers, we’ve been taught to remain open-minded and non-judgmental about sexual behavior, even teen-age sex. Some of us have been told to confidentially offer every 13-17 year-old gentle admonitions about the virtues of abstinence and then provide a handful of condoms.
What we’ve created is a sad and, from a public health point of view, dangerous situation. We’re sitting in the middle of a culture that is so accepting of teen-age sexual behavior that we’re reluctant to name an age or a situation after 7th or 8th grade at which sex is morally and physically absolutely wrong.
Our society has come to virtually accept the physical, social, and psychological risks of early intercourse. But the AAP data shows that our current societal approach to kid sex is not working. Beyond the moral implications, the cost to society in terms of sexually transmitted disease, psychological trauma, and teen-age pregnancy has got to be astronomical. (Barbara Bronson Gray, MN, RN Editor in Chief NURSEWEEK, November, 1999)
WHAT YOU CAN DO
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Find out how monies for AIDS education is being used in your state. Call or write your state’s superintendent of schools. Ask if he/she is aware of Title V funds which are available for abstinence only education.
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As parents, you can and should examine and evaluate your child’s books and curricula. Talk to your school’s health teacher and principal to see materials being used for AIDS prevention, health or sex education classes, and human development (or “group counseling”) classes. Some criteria for evaluation:
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Does the curriculum encourage parental involvement?
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Does the curriculum respect values taught in the home?
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Is abstinence taught? Are the consequences of premarital sex explained?
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When teenage pregnancy is discussed, is abortion suggested as an option? Is adoption mentioned?
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Are students encouraged to make their own decisions, whatever feels right for them, without the benefit of advice from parents, grandparents, teachers, and clergy?
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Is the curriculum billed as “value-free”? (Somebody’s values are surely being taught.)
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Are students encouraged to feel or to think?
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Is the material “non-judgmental,” i.e., it teaches that homosexuality, promiscuity, and prostitution are not morally wrong, only different ways to live?
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Find out what organizations are drawn upon for speakers, materials, and resources.
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Find out how textbooks are adopted in your school and become part of the process.