Updated September 6, 2022.
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Where Are You?
Are you facing a dark, confusing time in your life right now? Perhaps you fear you are pregnant or have just learned that you are, indeed, pregnant. “You are pregnant.” How could those three little words cause so much trouble? Being a mother may have been a dream you hoped for at a time when you would be ready. As you imagined it, you would be rejoicing with someone who adored you and you would have the total support of those closest to you. But that is not how it is at this moment.
How could this happen? Suddenly the attraction you felt, the love you believed was real, the dreams you had, and the precautions you took have been overridden by the words, “You are pregnant.” Are you feeling shocked, alone, ashamed, angry, abandoned? Certainly, you are feeling overwhelmed. Not only has your world been shaken by the news but by what this pregnancy will mean to your relationships, your plans, and even your body. The pressure upon you and the emotional pain you are experiencing can be excruciating. You are facing a crisis.
A Promise for You
Right now you may feel surrounded by darkness and fear. Your dreams are shattered. You may be despairing that you will never see the goodness of the Lord in the world of the living. Your situation is not one randomly inflicted on you, but is part of an amazing story in which you have an important role to play. As you read on, you will discover the confusion will begin to subside. You will discover there are precious things that you never would have known except for these darkest of days. These dark days will give way to light and hope!
I will give you the treasures from dark places and hidden stockpiles. Then you will know that I, the Lord God of Israel, have called you by name. Isaiah 45:3 GOD’S WORD
God knows your name. He is the Lord God Almighty, who is the author of this life. He created everything we see. He promises new life. The Lord, who loves you perfectly, crossed eternity to demonstrate this love for you and give you new life in the person of Jesus. That makes His Word, the Bible, about your life: living it, choosing it, surviving it, giving it, protecting it.
This dark time is just one chapter in the story of your life. When your story is retold, it will reveal the treasures you have found in dark places, stockpiled and waiting for your discovery.
Your Dangerous Opportunity
The Chinese symbol for crisis combines the words for danger and opportunity. A dangerous opportunity describes perfectly the decisions that lay ahead of you. They are dangerous because they involve a life and death decision about another human being, and they involve your own future.
Your decisions also create opportunities because this dark time may be how you will see what “treasures” of strength and character the Lord has planted within you. Your situation provides an opportunity to trust the Lord who longs for you to ask Him for help.
Call on me in times of trouble. I will rescue you, and you will honor me. Psalm 50:15 GOD’S WORD
A crisis is an event that requires new resources and new ways of coping. It is a crossroad. How you respond may determine just how able you are to meet the next challenges in your life. How you respond will also determine the future of another human life.
What Do You Fear?
A crisis generally threatens us with loss of some sort. That threat of loss creates fear. Fear can drive a decision. What or who do you fear right now? Is it fear of disclosure to those you know and love? Is it fear of the loss of reputation? Are you afraid of losing your career? It is important to understand that a fear-driven decision is never good.
Fear is based on circumstances that change. What may seem overwhelming right now will not be the case in a week or month or year. You have time to make a decision. It is important that you define specifically those things that are causing fear within you. Oftentimes, giving a name to emotions plaguing us reduces the power of that emotion over us. If that fear were removed would your actions be different?
Our perceptions or how we see things in crisis can not always be trusted. Clear thinking and decision making can be immobilized by our emotions. It is important to take time to remember what you believed. Take a moment.
What did you believe about pregnancy?
What were your feelings and hopes about babies?
Someone once said, “Don’t let go in the dark what you knew in the light!” Those things you valued when you were not in crisis should guide you now when you are in crisis. Keep in mind that while this crisis seems all consuming, it is only one chapter in the story of your life. In five years you want to look back and say “I did the right thing. I am proud of the decisions I made.”
Get Some Help
It would be wise to tell someone what is going on in your life right now. Tell someone who loves you and who has always done what is best for you. This will give you a more objective perspective.
It is great to have help in problem solving and discovering resources you may not have known about. If you are reading this in a pregnancy resource center, good for you! If not, you may want to call a local pregnancy center. You can find the one closest to you by calling 800.395.HELP. The help you find there is always confidential and always free.
God writes some helpful and encouraging words to you in Jeremiah 29:11-14 GOD’S WORD:
I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope. Then you will call to me. You will come and pray to me, and I will hear you. When you look for me, you will find me. When you wholeheartedly seek me, I will let you find me, declares the LORD. I will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I’ve scattered you, declares the LORD. I will bring you back from the place where you are being held captive.
What Will You Do?
Your situation calls for a decision. You make good decisions by knowing the truth about all aspects of your situation. It is important to make informed decisions. While abortion may be the first thing you think of, it is the most final and risk-laden choice for you and your baby. More and more women who have been where you are now are coming forward saying, “I regret my abortion.”
Your decision needs to be based on what is best for you and your baby. Parenting your child yourself is one life-affirming choice.
What is best for you and your baby, however, may be choosing another family who is prepared to parent your baby through adoption. Adoption is a difficult but a loving choice. It is not abandoning your baby, but entrusting your baby to loving parents who are able to provide all that you want for him or her but cannot offer in your circumstances right now. There are so many options available when it comes to adoption. Ask at the pregnancy center about this option.
Wise people make informed choices and consider the good and bad of each decision. Most importantly, you need to think about the beliefs and values you hold most dear. These are the guideposts that do not change regardless of time or circumstances. That is why we lean on the Word of God in times of trouble because the Lord does not change; neither do His promises or His love for us. Sift the truth of your circumstances and the options you have with resources that are available through the grid of these guideposts. You will be left with those choices that will not compromise you, your faith, or your ability to grow stronger through this challenge.
What is the Truth?
While you may be carrying a baby, it is God who allowed the baby to be conceived. The circumstances of our conception should never determine the value of our lives.
This child may have your eyes and hair color, your love of math or music, but this child is a totally new and unique human being formed by the hands of God!
This child will never be duplicated. This little one is already either a boy or girl with a heart that began beating just 18 days after conception. This child will soon recognize the sound of your voice.
We are told that every day of his or her life story has already been recorded by God. Each of us began in the same way: safely growing within our mother’s body until the time came for us to see the light of day—a treasure in darkness.
You alone created my inner being. You knitted me together inside my mother. I will give thanks to you because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this … Your eyes saw me when I was only a fetus. Every day of my life was recorded in your book before one of them had taken place. Psalm 139:13-14, 16 GOD’S WORD
Recently a young woman refused an ultrasound because she did not want her decision to abort her child to be made harder by seeing the real-time image of her child. That young woman did not want the truth about the little one she was carrying to sway her determination to end the baby’s life. Do you think someday she will regret fleeing the truth? Don’t flee truth. It will stand you in good stead.
The truth is that God hates the taking of innocent life. While abortion may seem like the solution that will keep your secret, you will always bear the weight of that decision physically, mentally, and spiritually. Ending the life of an innocent child will affect how you feel about yourself, your ability to have healthy relationships, and your ability to deal with life in general.
There is a way that seems right to a person, but eventually it ends in death. Proverbs 14:12 GOD’S WORD
The Lord knows what you are going through right now. He will be with you to help you every step of the way. His promise to help you reflects how He cares for us as His little lambs.
Like a shepherd he takes care of his flock. He gathers the lambs in his arms. He carries them in his arms. He gently helps the sheep and their lambs. Isaiah 40:11 GOD’S WORD
A Courageous Decision
There is a wonderful story in the Bible that tells of two women in crisis. They had important jobs and actually reported to the pharaoh of the land. God liked them so much He put their names in the Bible. They are Shiphra and Puah.
This dynamic duo had been commanded to kill all the baby Hebrew boys at birth. But Shiphra and Puah feared God more than they feared their boss, Pharaoh. Their “dangerous opportunity” ultimately allowed the baby Moses to be born and to be put in a basket by his mother so he could be found and raised by the pharaoh’s daughter. Moses would be used by God in a powerful way to free His people from slavery in Egypt.
And now you know the rest of the story! What an important role these women played in the amazing story of history.
Because the midwives feared God, He gave them families of their own. Exodus 1:21 GOD’S WORD
The Right Choice
Did you ever notice the contrasts reflected in Scripture? Good and evil, light and dark, life and death, truth and lies, blessings and curses. The most critical decisions in life have to do with choosing between these contrasting and conflicting words.
Because when we choose good—light, life, truth, and blessings—we receive the good things that follow those realities. Just as in pregnancy, like produces like! Conversely, when we choose evil dark, death, lies, and curses we will bring forth the same.
Whatever you plant is what you’ll harvest. Galatians 6:7b GOD’S WORD
When you commit to actions based on the biblical principles of Goodness, Light, Life, Truth, and Blessing, you will find yourself on solid ground, and the next step for you to take will become apparent.
The Lord will continually guide you and satisfy you even in sun baked places. Isaiah 58:11a GOD’S WORD
Until that commitment is made there is confusion, anxiety, fear, and oppression.
A person who has doubts is thinking about two different things at the same time and can’t make up his mind about anything. James 1:8 GOD’S WORD
Fortunately, we have been given a great choice. His name is Jesus and He says,
I am the way the truth and the life. John 14:6a GOD’S WORD
It is a step of faith to trust Him with your life right now. That step will allow you to focus your thoughts, energy, and resources on the goal of doing what is best for your child and for yourself.
No one can please God without faith. Whoever goes to God must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who seek him. Hebrews 11:6 GOD’S WORD
A Step of Faith
Dear Jesus, I am taking a step of faith right now. I believe You are God and that You love me. I believe You died to take the punishment for my sins. I am sorry for my sins and need Your help right now. Please help me. Show me the way I am to go and give me faith and hope to go on.
What about Tomorrow?
Too often, individuals make decisions about their pregnancy based on feeling overwhelmed with taking care of a child for 18 years. God has told us to not worry about tomorrow but to do what is right today and tomorrow will take care of itself.
Don’t ever worry and say, ‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we going to wear?’ Everyone is concerned about these things, and your heavenly Father certainly knows you need all of them. But first, be concerned about his kingdom and what has his approval. Then all these things will be provided for you. So don’t ever worry about tomorrow. After all, tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:31-34 GOD’S WORD
Why Did This Happen?
You may be wondering why God let this happen to you. The Lord did not cause this trial to come upon you, but He will use it to draw you to Himself, strengthen you and further His will. Your experience will not be wasted. And you will be fulfilling your important life role.
We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God—those whom he has called according to his plan. Romans 8:28 GOD’S WORD
How can something good happen to you in the midst of your shattered dreams and problems? Please remember the problem is not the baby. You were created to be a life giver. Perhaps, even now, you are experiencing the conflicting emotions of hope and fear.
Hope inexplicably accompanies new life even when that life is unplanned. But there is also fear about how you can commit to this baby when your life is full of confusion.
The problems of lack of support, delayed plans, and embarrassment are real, but they do not outweigh the value of one human life.
There are many people ready, willing, and able to provide you with emotional and practical help. Oftentimes those who you most fear disappointing are ready with the most love and support. Give them a little time to get over the shock. They are in crisis too!
God, who faithfully keeps his promises, will not allow you to be tempted beyond your power to resist. But when you are tempted he will also give you the ability to endure the temptation as your way of escape. 1 Corinthians 10:13 GOD’S WORD
The Promise of Peace
You may not be feeling very good about yourself right now. In fact, you may be churning with anger at yourself for getting into this predicament. Good feelings come from making good choices. Beyond that, you need to know you are loved just the way you are. The One who created you, created you in His image, which is good. When sin entered the world it disrupted the relationship between the Creator and the created. But that relationship is again possible because Jesus paid the price for sin with His death on the cross.
Now that we have God’s approval by faith, we have peace with God because of what our Lord Jesus Christ has done. Through Christ we can approach God and stand in his favor … We know that suffering creates endurance, endurance creates character, and character creates confidence. We’re not ashamed to have this confidence, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:1-5 GOD’S WORD
When we admit our mistakes and place our trust in His sacrifice for us we become part of His family and can have access to the promises contained in the Bible. One of the greatest promises is the gift of peace. Peace is the absence of fear of loss or punishment. Peace is also the assurance of adequate resources.
No fear exists where his love is. Rather, perfect love gets rid of fear, because fear involves punishment. 1 John 4:18 GOD’S WORD
Jesus took our punishment for all time. He also opened the door for us to receive His help and His gift of peace.
I’m leaving you peace. I’m giving you my peace. I don’t give you the kind of peace that the world gives. So don’t be troubled or cowardly. John 14:27 GOD’S WORD
A Similar Story
You may be familiar with the story of the angel Gabriel appearing to the young Virgin Mary. His first words to her were “Don’t be afraid” (Luke 1:30). How could she not be afraid! There was an angel in her living room telling her she was going to be a mother without a husband in a land and at a time when such a thing was punishable by death!
When Mary learned she would be pregnant outside of marriage, possibly unsupported by her fiancé, rejected by her family and community, her response was “I am the Lord’s servant. Let everything you’ve said happen to me” (Luke 1:38). GOD’S WORD
Mary bowed to the will of God and became part of the story that changed history for the world. When the angel left Mary, he left her peaceful and faith-filled to take her place in God’s grand story. Mary did not have an easy time but the “treasures” she found during her “dangerous opportunity” are recorded in her song.
My soul praises the Lord’s greatness!
My spirit finds its joy in God, my Savior,
because he has looked favorably on me, his humble servant.
From now on, all people will call me blessed
because the Almighty has done great things to me.
His name is holy.
For those who fear him,
his mercy lasts throughout every generation.
He displayed his mighty power.
He scattered those who think too highly of themselves.
He pulled strong rulers from their thrones.
He honored humble people.
He fed hungry people with good food.
He sent rich people away with nothing.
He remembered to help his servant Israel forever.
This is the promise he made to our ancestors,
to Abraham and his descendants.” Luke 1:46-55 GOD’S WORD
The story of your life is being written by the choices you make. The choices you make will bring you into the will of God or leave you floundering in your own strength. The legacy of your life can be life or death. The God who made you knows you and loves you. He urges you to choose life today.
I call on heaven and earth as witnesses today that I have offered you life or death, blessings or curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants will live. Deuteronomy 30:19 GOD’S WORD
GOD’S WORD® is a copyrighted work of God’s Word to the Nations. Quotations are used by permission. Copyright 1995 by God’s Word to the Nations. All rights reserved.