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Abortion: From Despair to Hope
NIGHTMARES
“I
thought I must be crazy because I couldn’t shake the nightmares and deep pain I
felt about the loss of my child.” Many millions of women who have
had at least one abortion share this experience.
SEXUAL
PROBLEMS
“I had
an abortion. I wish I could say the sadness is getting less but instead it
seems to be worse. I just want my two girls to watch TV all the time. I
couldn’t care less if my husband ever touched me again (to me sex means having
babies) and now I’m afraid the Lord does not love me anymore. We couldn’t
afford another child, but the only thing I feel is hate toward myself for being
talked into this and that I killed my child. Please help me!”
GUILT
AND GRIEF
“I have
had two abortions. I felt a lot of remorse and guilt, especially after the
birth of my daughter. I find myself grieving for the loss and the guilt is
sometimes unbearable. Sadly enough, this guilt keeps me from the one place I
need the most - the church.”
DENIAL.
“I am
almost 18. I am a cheerleader, vice president of the student council at my
school, vice president of my youth group and I hope to become a parochial school
teacher. I also had an abortion. I wanted to have the baby that was created
out of love. I wanted to give it up for adoption and give it the chance of
life. However, the shame was too great. I could not handle a nine-month
reminder of my sin. I couldn’t tell my parents - I’m supposed to be the good
one! I would have to quit cheerleading, resign as class leader, loose all the
respect I had gained. It was perfectly acceptable to have sex but not get
caught.”
ISOLATION.
“I
never told my minister. I’m not sure my minister would be understanding. I’ve
told only one person at church. This is a guilt I carry alone. But I’m not the
only one.”
Dr. Vincent Rue, a pioneer
in the study and treatment of post abortion syndrome, says abortion must be
understood as a major death experience. An abortive woman’s words bear this out:
SELF-JUSTIFICATION
“When I
had my (two) abortions, I told myself that what was inside me was just a piece
of tissue, a product of conception, fetal parts, a cell. I had a lot of
intellectual justification for what I had done.” But
later, in therapy, the truth came out. “It hit me like a ton of
bricks. I had two babies, and I killed them.”
For many the reality of
abortion is too painful to acknowledge leading a woman to deny and repress the
facts of her experience. Rationalization and self-justification, as heard in
many previous quotations, is common. A delayed reaction to an abortion, varying
from a few weeks to many years, is common. The following symptoms may appear in
time:
-
anger/guilt/mood
swings
-
withdrawal
from relationships
-
apathy/depression/despair
-
child
abuse
-
recurring
nightmares
-
flashbacks/
nightmares
-
eating
disorders/substance abuse
-
sleeping
disorders
-
sexual
problems
-
frequent
crying/suicidal urges
-
lack
of self-esteem
-
intense
grief/sadness
-
preoccupation
with death/abortion date
SUICIDAL URGES
“I
still am struggling. In the last few weeks I’ve had a really strong desire to
end my life. The guilt feelings have become so great, plus, I have always had
low self-esteem. I didn't hate my babies. I will live with what I have done my
whole life and I know that there may often be times of great sadness. I just
hope and pray the Lord will begin to work through me when I am ready to persuade
other women not to make the same decision I did.”
BREAKING DENIAL
Denial becomes
increasingly difficult to maintain, especially when a woman gets pregnant a
second or third time. She sees the sonogram of the moving baby, then gives
birth to a child whose fingers and toes she can count. The memory of her first,
aborted child, is still there, and suddenly her emotions overwhelm her. But the
path to healing begins when denial is broken. With God’s gentle grace,
repentance can replace rationalization and lips can utter confession instead of
excuses:
“Months
later, as I was washing dishes or doing household chores, a nameless anxiety
would come over me. I didn’t know what it was. I couldn’t under-stand what was
making me feel so sad, so empty, so guilty. Then I gave birth to a beautiful
daughter. And when I became a Christian I recognized my sin for what it was. I
had taken the life of my first child and I was wrong. I praise God for the way
He has worked in my life to show me He has forgiven me and still loves me as His
child.”
THE
POWER OF FORGIVENESS
One woman wrote, “I’m 95. And I have lived
with my abortion experience for 55 years. I am afraid that this sin is just too
great. Can God ever forgive me?”
“CAN
GOD EVER FORGIVE ME?”
God hates the shedding of
innocent blood, but abortion is not an unforgivable sin. The Good News of the
Gospel is that God has already forgiven us in Jesus Christ: “If we confess our sins, He
is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all
unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). God
forgives the sin of abortion. He will also help us to forgive ourselves and
others as His peace fills our heart: “If our heart condemns us,
God is greater than our heart” (1 John
3:20).
 There are caring people
throughout the United States who understand, care and want to help. Many of them
have experienced the truths contained in this brochure - journeying from despair
to healing in God’s forgiveness.
If you need assistance,
information or someone to talk to, call or write Lutherans For Life or contact all
Word of Hope.
This article
is available in reproducible form as part of Life Studies - Volume One.
Click
here to go to the on-line
Life Resource Catalog.
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